If you are looking for an article that would give you the “how-to” of doing something, this is not for you. I write this not to give you a detailed information about anything. I write this for myself. This is a reflection of my thought about the emptiness of life.
I’ve always believed that every human has a single purpose in their life. The ultimate quest that we have to finished. The one thing that wakes you up in the morning. The force that moves your body to work harder.
Lately, I began to question everything.
I was wondering, “What is my purpose of life?”
I suddenly feel my life is empty. The feeling of lacking something.
I talked to myself more often. Thinking, reflecting and evaluating my life. I started to create an assumption that certain event has made my life like this. I begin to blame others. A condition, some people, or even the choice I’ve made.
I always seeking for something more. Am I wrong?
Maybe. I realized that the more I think, the more I unappreciated the now. I never feel alive. I always haunted by the fear of the future. Or sometimes, the regret of the past. That’s why I always feel empty.
I have lost my sense to think rational. Fear of the future and regret of the past are only a wasting of the now. The future and the past is only an illusion. There is only now. The present moment.
When you are fearing about the future, you actually do it now. It is the same when you are regretting the past. You regret the past on your present moment.
I believe anything that happened in my life always happens for a reason. There is no bad experience. It’s only a lesson. But I have to realize that a good experience is also an illusion. The experience is created in the past. Thinking about it will only a wasting of the now.
So, do I have to keep seeking for the purpose of my life?
I guess not. Seeking for something that uncertain will only make me feel empty. It makes me feel that I do lack of something.
Moreover, if I have found the answer to the question, then what?
Am I suddenly be content? Or not empty anymore?
Actually, I will not find my purpose if I always ask and seek for an answer. I have to stop seeking what’s already within me.
I simply need to start living. Live like a human being. Live in the now.
As a Koan (a story that told by zen master to his student to give a sudden enlightenment known as satori) said:
Before I sought enlightenment, the mountains were mountains and the rivers were rivers.
While I sought enlightenment, the mountains were not mountains and the rivers were not rivers.
After I reached satori, the mountains were mountains and the rivers were rivers.
The key to enlightenment is not to find your life purpose. The key to enlightenment is to live in the present moment. The now will reveal that you are already a complete human being.